| Carly decides to round up her posse and do the party right,
the way it shoulda bin done in the first place.
She and her sidekick are gonna rid PC of a few VARMINTS! |
 Gia: I got her, Carly! Carly: Excellant! Lizzy: Reeeeeee Reeeeeee! Gia: Ah Liz, what can I say, your such a "Babe." Carly: Good God, Liz, is that your lipstick, or did someone put radioactive strawberry Quik in your trough?! Lizzy: Reeeeee Reeeeee! Gia: But it kinda makes her look like Audrey Hepburn, don't you think? Carly: [laughs] Well, I'd love to stay and chat with Sabreeeena here, but I gotta round up Ol' Bossie.... Here cowy-cowy-cowy-cow..... [stomps off, spurs jingling] |
 Carly: Yeeehaaaaaa!! Laura: Moooooooooo! [translation: OH MY GOD! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!] Carly: That's it, run, moo-moo! I'm gonna enjoy runnin' your fat ass ragged! Yeeeehaaaa! Laura: Moooooooooooo! [Translation: Man, I guess shouldn't have had that last box of Dunkin' Donuts] Carly: Hey! C'mon, speed it up, ribroast, this here's Kentucky Derby breedin' stock, I'm ridin! Laura: [to weak to moo] wheeeze. Carly: Man, I'd have to saw 2 of this horses legs off to make this a fair chase. Pick it up, will ya? Laura: mmmo-- [collapses] Carly: [jumping offf horse] Hmmmph! Ah well, at least I get to hog-tie her, Yeeeeehaaaaaa!... |
 [Back at the ran-- um, the shadey, out of the way, badly decorated place...] Carly: Now listen, pardner, this town ain't big enough for the 3 of us-- especially you, Laura, you take up way more than your fair share of space. Lizzy: I just can't believe this is hapeneen to someone as awesome as me! Carly: Well, it is happening. Deal. Laura: Hah! You think you've got me? Well think again! You don't know who you're dealing with, Missy! Lizzy is going to be the Face of Deception and that is final! Carly: Laura, you're next to a 300 lb keg of explosives, not to mention the fact that you are in dangerously close proximate to the radioactive hazard zone of Lizzy's make-up. What the hell are you talking about? Lizzy: But I am so amazeen. I can do anytheen, and everyone who counts loves me... How could this be happeneen? Next theen you know my shit won't smell like hiacynth anymore! Carly: Oh, gawd, shut up you simpering chilly-pusher. [pistol whips her. Liz sags, unconcious, against Laura] Laura: You'll be sorry for that! I am a dangerous, independent woman to be reckoned with! And boy are you gonna get it when my boyfriend and my ex-husband and the man I was feeling up on the roof the other night get here! Carly: Man, you and Liz have more in common than I thought.[under breath] And they call me a slut! Laura: Well, Lizzy is perfect, I am glad to be compared to her, an-- Carly: [walking out of the room] Whatever! Deluded to the end, as usual. Laura: and she is a sparkly princess, and, and she and I are getting out of this alive because we are strong and we're survivors, and....[a long, deluded blah blah blah], an-- Keg of Explosives: Boom! * * * [Outside, observing at a safe distance, stand Carly and Gia] Gia: Hmmm, I guess Laura was right Carly: Yeeeaaaaah, as if! About what? Gia: That Lizzy's face would be everywhere. Carly [laughing] Yeah, and that spray of fall-out from her makeup is certainly making for a beautiful sunset. Gia: [smiling] Just like us.... a little toxic, but mezmerizing. |