| June9/12, 2000
Helena: It's a lovely colo', ain't it? Stefan: Pappy's private stock. Shet mah mouth! Helena: We used t'six pack it Jedtmas night. Stefan: ah sh'd be hono'ed, cuss it all t' tarnation. Helena: It's no mo'e than yo' desarve. Stefan: At th' risk of soun'in' dim, did ah miss sumpin? When did we reconcile? Helena: Yo've impressed me, Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. Finally. ah nevah dreamed thet yo''d be able t'survive losin' Mary Jane, but yo' have. Stefan: An' ah still hate yo' as yo' hate me. Helena: Oh, hate is offen love in disguise. Stefan: But not allus. Helena: Ah, stubborn an' raised as allus. ah admire thet. Stefan: ah did love yo' once, Mammy. ah loved yo' desperately when ah was a chile. Helena: Yo' were a challenge. Stefan: ah was a bitter disappointment. Helena: ah allus injoyed a challenge. Stefan: Ah. Yo' injoyed hurtin' me. Yo' loved Stavros. Helena: But hyar we is now. Whuffo' not celebrate thet? Stefan: Tell me whut yo' want, Mammy. Helena: We've been fightin' far too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! now, we've been givin' our inemies a terrible advantage an' hurtin' th' varmint thet we love the dawgoned-est. Stefan: so -- This hyar is about Nikolas, then? Helena: Now, whut eff'n we put aside th' past, all th' pain an' disappointments? Whut in tarnation eff'n we agreed t'wawk togither t'he'p Nikolas? We'd make a fo'midable pair. Stefan: Indeed, cuss it all t' tarnation. But whuffo' sh'd ah trest yo'? Stefan: Yer quite right purdy, Mammy, even now. an' tretcherous. th' center of yer own unyverse. Helena: ah sh'd invite yo' on over mo'e offen. Stefan: Yo'll does ennythin' to git whut yo' want. I've allus admired thet. Helena: Thank yo'. Stefan: yo' were a goddess to me when ah was a chile. ah wo'shipped yo'. ah longed t'arn yer favo'. Helena: Oh, honestly, Stefan, ah was simply a dedicated Mammy. wif a strong fashion sense. Stefan: ah w'd haf done ennythin' fo' yo'. Helena: ah nevah had thet impresshun then, as enny fool kin plainly see. Stefan: Yo' nevah suspecked thet mah greatess stren'th was to annicipate a problem an' t'solve it fum ev'ry conceivable angle. Helena: All thet dreary attenshun t'detail, mah darlin', made yo' a bit of a bo'e, even as a chile. Stefan: Perhaps. Helena: To mah beloved bo'e. Stefan: Thet's th' fust time yo've evah said yo' love me. Helena: Is thet whut ah said? Stefan: Touche. to th' survival of th' fittest. |
[continued] Helena: ah knows yo' kin hear me, Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. whut is thet dreary sayin'? sumpin about turnabout an' fair play? oh, it was th' po't, darlin', in case yer wonnerin'. yo'll drown tonight, th' vickim of a terrible boatin' accident. drownin' is supposed t'be the dawgoned-est painless way of dyin'. o' is it the dawgoned-est agonizin'? who kin remember these thin's? to survival of th' fittest. Helena: Mmm, dawgone it. this po't is truly extryo'dinary, Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah's so'ry yo' c'dn't finish yourn. An'reas, don't mah son face death gracefully? An'reas: Yessuh, madam, dawgone it. Helena: Finally, sumpin yo' does fine. unless, of course, yer tryin' to fool yer Mammy. ah w'dn't be hankerin' yo' t'hit th' water an' start swimmin' away. An'reas? An'reas: Yer mighty fine at this, madam, dawgone it. Helena: Thank yo'. ah pride mahse'f on larnin' fum experience. pareelyzin' Mammy was not th' wisess choice yo've evah made, mah darlin'. yo' knows how crost ah can git. Helena: Whut in tarnation on earth did yo' does to yer face? yo've allus been so clumsy. An'reas? th' lighter. [ Helena laughs] Helena: A burn'd be so difficult t'explain t'thet dimwitted po-lice commisshuner. I'd like a moment alone wif mah son, as enny fool kin plainly see. An'reas: Yessuh, madam, dawgone it. Helena: Mah darlin' fella, thar's sumpin I'd like yo' t'know. Helena: Yo' will die as yo' haf lived, mah darlin' fella. Alone. Longin'. An' cold, cuss it all t' tarnation. Don't yo' knows Nikolas has lef' yo'? Mary Jane finally pushed yo' away. Alexis is beside th' point, but ah suppose she cares fo' yo' in her own way. not thet it matters. No one loves yo', Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. Oh, ah tried t'fo' a spell, when yo' were a baby, but yo' cried all th' time. No one c'd hold yo'. No one c'd comfo't yo', sartinly not I. Yo''dn't even look at me. yo' screamed, cuss it all t' tarnation. When ah tried t'touch yo', yo' pushed me away. Yo' igno'ed me. Oh, but Stavros -- Stavros loved me wif all of his heart. An' ah ado'ed him, dawgone it. So menny times -- So menny times ah wished thet Luke an' Mary Jane had killed yo' instead, cuss it all t' tarnation. Kin yo' imagine how happy we'd all be? I'd haf mah Stavros. they'd haf their Lucky. I'd haf no need fo' revenge. But Luke an' Mary Jane got it all wrong, as usual, ah reckon. An' now they hafta pay. |
 [continued] Helena: ah let yo' live fo' a fine long time, Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. Yo' sh'd be grateful fo' thet. thar is so menny thin's -- so menny thin's thet ah have grown t'admire about yo'. Yer tretchery. Yer cold heart. Oh, an' yo' haf a gif' fo' malice thet challenges mah own sometimes. But yer not tho'ough, mah darlin'. No. Not fo' all of thet dreary attenshun t'detail, ah reckon. Yo' haf no vishun. Yo' kin't see -- whut is thet -- thet silly South Car'linan phrase? Th' trimenjus pitcher. Yo' sh'd've known thet yo' c'dn't thrett up mah plans fo' Lucky. Ju honestly believe thet knowin' thet ah w'd aller yo' t'live? Good-goo'bye, Stefan, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah doesn't love yo'. ah nevah did, cuss it all t' tarnation. ah may miss yo'. Probably not. Helena: Good-goo'bye, dear fella. Helena: An'reas. Helena: Throw him on overboard, cuss it all t' tarnation. Helena: Ta-ta. [splash] Helena: Good night, second son, as enny fool kin plainly see. 
|